Monday, March 17, 2008

Loss

I feel like I'm losing my best friend, I feel like I'm losing my girlfriend. I feel like I'm losing myself. I feel like at total disappointment to both Gene and Brian. I don't sleep well. Honestly, we're not talking days, or weeks or even months. We're talking years. I dont think I slept well since before the 8th grade. I feel like whenever I get done with work, and pouring myself into my friends, anything else like working out or doing immersion assignments or whatever is like being asked to drive to Boston from here on fumes. Maybe I'll quit my internship, or .... I don't know. Would you like to know what I always think about? No matter what I'm doing, I'm not doing it good enough, I mean it. Everything I do, from hygiene to my interning, to my relationships, to what I do at the gym, I'm not doing it good enough. Whose standards? I don't know. Help? Anyone? Someone?
I love all of you
-Chuck

3 comments:

Emily said...

You're not losing me, except maybe to Pennsylvania for a few days. But, if it makes you feel better, I think you're an awesome boyfriend. I hope you know you can always call me to talk or anything...

Christine said...

You're doing ok sweetie, despite the fact you don't feel like you are. You'll be fine. You're in my thoughts. If you need to talk to someone, I'm always here. Really. :)

Alex Green said...

If any of us started doing anything that well, we'd forget we need Christ.