Oide Fuchs

Yeah I'm on hiatus from the facemybookspace . Tara commented my last bog under anonymous as If i wouldn't know it was her. Then she changed her myspace status to "all we're up against is you" which is crap. Because of my different opinion. She hates me now. This has all blown up to fast. I cant handle it right now. Not sure whats going to happen when Sunday comes around. But we'll drive off that bridge when we get to it. I cant describe how emotionality exhausted I am. I hope Brian and I can have lunch tomorrow. We can hope right? I wish i was In Österreich right now. That way I'd be thousands of miles from this, and all I'd have to think about was work. I look forward to work now. More than church. Because at work all I have to think about is making sandwiches. So much easier don't you think? Easier than engagement and my friends hating my opinion, easier than putting me and Em in the middle of this. I wihs she and I could vacation somewhere together. The stress this is putting on us in unreal, and if I don't act quickly it could tear us apart. Oh G-d have mercy on me. Have mercy on us. Have mercy on them. Forgive my hate and anxiety. Forgive them for their anger. Lord my G-d. Deliverer and Friend. I cast this on you because you care for me. Your yoke is light. I love you Jesus.Be grace oh my G-d, be grace.

Mann o Mann Helga

So, My previous blog was read by my best friends Fiancee (it was about the two of them and their engagement) she commented this:

"good if your done then be done and let us be and dont keep telling us were wrong or you think were wrong cuz you dont know who we are and we know whats right for us you dont know what right for us. whats right for one person may not be right for someone else. we are not "your problem" that you have to "deal with" so just let us live our lives the way we see is best."

Is it just me? Or was this written angrily, or attacking-ly? I think so, and its like, I've poured so much of myself into this whole situation eg: several conversations with my Best friend about it some a few hours long, and a few conversations with his fiancee one of which was an hour long, also I;ve had many many conversations with mutual friends and my parents on the subject. Now Dane is thankful about my personal effort in this front, but this is what I get for draining myself to emotional exhaustion from his GF? Uncool. Very Uncool. I mean Wheres the love man? Nowhere apparently. Ugh... she just logged on to AIM. If she IMs me, I'm going to ignore her. I feel hurt and attacked. Anyways

Peace and Love
Chuck

Spent

dont ask for my opinion, stop asking why, stop asking why I believe what I believe, stop telling me that i just don't understand, just stop, I have no more answers, i have nothing else to say. I cant think about anymore, I dont need anymore sleepless nights. Its your lives, they are your problems. Right now, I cant deal with this anymore. I've said my piece. I'm done.

I, am Legend

The morning has been kicking my ass as of late. It's a little annoying, this morning I didnt have to be up till 10:00, My body, however, had different plans. It all but kicked me out of bed at 8:30. Anyways. I've started reading a book called Postmodern Youth Ministry. I have weekly essays due. I had a week to read the first 2 chapters and write the essay, they're due every tuesday. I did it all monday, after dinner. Yeah, I'm lazy. I'm at church right now. I hope Em can stop later on. Anyways. I need to write a new song. I need to, things I write have a tendency to pick me not the other way around. We'll see. Listen to Sons of God, they're in my top friends.

I love you all, even you.